So just how good a teacher am I? Obviously in my mind I’m the greatest teacher ever but I think we should let the numbers confirm my belief and speak for themselves. The fact that I award these numbers has no bearing on anything.
Year 11-C7: 13 students, 13 Es. Top mark 12%, low mark 0.25% (rounded down to zero)
Year 11-C6: 18 students, 2 Ds, 16 Es. Top Mark 38%, low mark 3%
So that’s 31 students for me in Year 11, and 31 failures.
Year 10-6: 19 students, 1 C (a pass mark! Yippee!! Crack open the champagne; 10 D’s, 8 E’s. Top mark 59%, low mark 2%
Year 10-8: 21 students, 2 Bs, 9 Cs, 10 Ds. Top mark 67%, low mark 38%. Now that’s what I call success!
That’s a total of 71 students, and 59 failures. I also appear to have lost about 8 students during the term. Well I think that confirms everything. And my 10-6 class awarded me the top mark of 5 (exceptional) in every category in their teacher assessment. Maybe I taught them irony too well.
So who do we blame for the failures? Remember, you never blame the teachers, so it’s obviously the parents’ fault, the system’s fault, their friends’ fault, drugs, drink, TV, computers, the Irish banking system, the intransigence of the US political system, El Nino, Simon Cowell, and of course Lady GaGa. My conscience is clear. At least I’m not running away…even though I’m in Australia right now
Anyway, I was hoping that next term I’d only be teaching Year 10. I mean, look at the figures, obviously there’s no way they could have me teaching a Year 11 class with my record of 100% failures; “here’s your new teacher. Last term all his students failed, but maybe this term one of you might pass. Yes I know your parents are paying a stack load of money to guarantee you the best education but what the hell, we have your money now so we don’t really care and we can massage the results anyway.”
So the plan was that I’d just have to teach Year 10 nest trimester. Then things changed and I would be teaching a year 11 class after all. And then there was a day of madness just before the holidays and everything changed. Once the exams were all marked I was cracking into planning for the next trimester and I’d done frankly tremendous work in preparing a plan and all sorts of other stuff for Year 10 and I was kind of looking forward to it. So naturally on the final day I found out I’d be teaching 4 Year 11 classes and zero Year 10 classes. Well that’s the last time I plan anything.
Entertainment news
So why the hell does Chinese television show the Emmy awards if they don’t show any of the programmes? Is it to show Chinese viewers that their rubbish is much better than American rubbish? And why was I watching them?
Disappearing Canadians
Bobby, our enigmatic and virtually silent Canadian, gradually turned up less and less and eventually didn’t turn up at all. Was he ever there? Is he still there? Did he just fade away? Silent Bob; still silent, but bobbing no more.
Fashion update
September’s colour is green, especially if you’re visiting Australia; best worn with a very smug expression.
Now for some real coffee
